Over the weekend, I attended a parenting talk for parents of children with special needs. It was spearheaded by a lady in our sister church who wrote a book about her journey as a mom with a child who has Down Syndrome. As I went home that afternoon, after listening to a couple of speakers and hearing the testimonies of several parents who have children with special needs, I realized that being a "special" mom was indeed that --- special!
In the first year of Sabina's diagnosis, I will have to admit that there was a part of me that was embarrassed by her condition. I would hastily explain to people who did not know, why she could not respond or sit up like a normal baby her age. As the time went on, it was not so much embarrassment anymore because we learned to adjust and compensate for her disabilities; however I still did not like people seeing what a huge difference there was between Sabina and their normal children.
However, after this weekend, the Lord reminded me what a privilege and a blessing it truly is to have Sabina in my life. Not just because of the many indescribable joys she has given us as our daughter, but truly what the Lord is doing, has been doing and showing in our lives because of her. In Sabina's disabilities, God is able to show me His ABILITIES! His ability to do GREAT things in our lives, our children's lives and in others.
Surely, God doesn't make mistakes. He did not create Sabina and go oops. Sabina is still wonderfully made. God reminded me that He did not make her for me. He made her for Himself; to be used for His purposes and for His glory. So even if I still to this day do not know the whys, I can trust Him with whatever the answer. I may not see it with my limited and finite mind, but the Lord knows the exact purposes for which He has called Sabina and myself.
Have you heard of Nick Vujicic? He is man born without any arms and any legs. And yet, this man is being used mightily by the Lord to bring so many people to Him. When you hear his testimony, you can't help but feel ashamed at how we who have everything, can complain about the littlest things. And yet, here is a man, who did not let his disabilities ruin him and is able to live a full life. Instead of grumbling at what he didn't have, Nick surrendered his life to the Lord and let God use him for big things. In one of his interviews, Nick says that it is not about capabilities. This earth is temporary, and one day all will be gone. In heaven, he will have arms and legs and it will be permanent and forever. For now, he doesn't need the circumstances to change, Nick just lets God take the rest.
Nick reminds me it is the same with Sabina. One day she will be perfect!!!!! and oh, what a day that will be!! In the meantime, I need to see that Sabina and our family have been called by the Lord to achieve something here on earth. It is a calling for others to see that in circumstances like these, God is able to do amazing things!!! It may not always be physical healing. It could be character changes in us to be more like Jesus; or simply living lives that point others to the Lord who sustains us each and every day. Whatever the reason, it is indeed a privilege to be used by the Lord for His glory. So yes I can now say with joy and excitement in my heart, Sabina is a special needs child and I am a special needs mom!! What a BLESSING!!!!
Psalm 127:3-5 Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.
Jer. 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.