Seizures

It has been a month since Sabina developed seizures. She averages about 2-3 episodes a day. Two days ago, she had six episodes. The most she’s ever had. We are still praying and waiting for the anti-seizure medication to kick in.

Watching Sabina go through an episode is hard. You feel utterly helpless and useless especially when you see her little eyes rolling upward. It’s difficult to comprehend that her brain is rebooting every second.

It’s strange though how something abnormal in our life has now become a “normal” part of our daily routine. We expect the seizures to come and go at any given time of the day; and where I used to get teary–eyed as I would count each body jerk, I now take with quiet acceptance. God’s strength working in me again I suppose. The Bible says, when I am weak, He is strong! And yet, deep inside I beat my chest, because I wish to God the seizures would go away!! And I am so sad because these seizures mean that the mito disease is progressing in Sabina’s body.

But in all this, I see the intricacies of a human body that only God could have made. The way the whole body works is so complex that truly only a Great and Awesome Creator could be responsible for how we are made. So with that thought, I take shelter knowing that the Lord knows how He made Sabina inside and out. Each cell in her body and each brain impulse is accounted for, and in His hands. I just have to continually remember and trust in that Truth.

Psalm 139:13-16

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.